book review
‘Chalked Up’ Pulls No Punches
The memoir of 1986 U.S. champion Jennifer Sey paints a
detailed and often dreary picture of her struggle to reach the top
William Morrow; ISBN 9780061351464; Publication date, May 1, 2008
IN 1995 the secret world of elite gymnastics
was exposed by “Little Girls in Pretty
Boxes: The Making and Breaking of Elite
Gymnasts and Figure Skaters.” Its author
was sportswriter Joan Ryan, and its alarming
message was tempered by the fact that it was
written by someone who was never a gymnast.
This spring “Chalked Up: Inside Elite
Gymnastics’ Merciless Coaching, Overzealous
Parents, Eating Disorders, and Elusive
Olympic Dreams” will hit the book stores. And
lest you believe it’s nothing but a rehash of
Ryan’s book, one glaring difference cannot be
dismissed: It is written by a top gymnast from
personal experience.
Sey says “Chalked Up” (the title refers to all
the experience she gained) is not an indictment
of the sport (see profile on p. 32), but that conclusion will certainly be drawn by some. Instead,
she says her incessant drive to succeed — and to
overcome her insecurities as a child — led to the
myriad problems she faced as gymnast.
Sey’s fragile self-esteem and the unforgiving
world of gymnastics proved a volatile mix. She
reflects in vivid detail how she employed an
intense work ethic to compensate for feelings of
inadequacy. She usually succeeded in bypassing
her rivals, but the cost was often immense.
As do many gymnasts, Sey bounced from gym
to gym, each move inspired by her next lofty
goal. Each relocation also meant a new school
— and added stress from not fitting in. She considered herself a loser socially, since her real life
took place in the gym.
Sey’s writing is brilliant at times, offering perceptive psychoanalysis of everyone in her isolated world: parents,
brother, teammates, coaches, and
even judges.
Sey constantly coped with irrational jealousies, addiction to laxatives, self-inflicted pain. She
recounts the physical and emotional strain of workouts, losing
weight, abusive coaches, and the
politics of judging. And throughout it all she watched the erosion
of her own family, particularly the
relationship with her mother.
Sey’s fleeting moments of joy are included as
well, and none more fulfilling than her 1986
U.S. championship title.
Now, at 38, Sey sees it all for what it really
was and where she felt let down by her parents
and coaches. She also admits her own selfishness, especially with how she willingly allowed
her parents to nurture her Olympic dream at the
expense of younger brother Chris.
Through all the personal issues Sey discloses,
she does not come across as whiny. She says her
drive to unseat her insecurities was unstoppable,
and that it would have manifested itself regardless of the activity.
“I achieved more than I ever could have
hoped,” says Sey, who works in marketing at
Levi’s in San Francisco, and is a mother of two
young sons. “I will carry that pride with me
always. Unfortunately, there’s an
attending sense of inadequacy that I
also carry with me, but I think that’s
just me. That would be true whether
or not I ever did gymnastics. It’s
what drives me to succeed.”
Sey always took pride in being a
tough gymnast, which she believed
made up for her athletic shortcomings. And the revealing “Chalked
Up” is proof that she still has a lot
of guts.
—Dwight Normile/IG Editor
